A Comical Post about ‘Girl Stuff’

Most of everything I post on here is about running, but I’d like to take a moment to reflect on “girl stuff” and running. Yes, women always complain about how men have it so much easier (and they do, ahem) but let’s spell it out.

lulu-oakridgeWarning: If talking about “girl stuff” is going to make you squeamish or uncomfortable, you should probably move on and read something else … like a different post I have on here. 🙂

Women go through, what I’ll call ‘hormonal imbalances’ once a month for 3-7 days. But life isn’t easy for more than that duration. Let me walk you through my morning, as I am on the “lead up” period (no pun intended).

And before I continue, I’d like to state that I’m not delusional. I know I have a smaller frame. I know that I’m not overweight. Really, especially with the running, I’ve acquired a boy’s body .. losing what little chest I have and acquiring stronger legs. I’m a bit of a rectangle. Thank goodness for clothes that help give shape to those that don’t really have it. And thank goodness for baggy clothes. But I digress…

I woke up feeling thin, which I often do mainly because I’ve been lying horizontal all night and gravity is my BFF during this time. Within a few minutes, I see myself in the mirror and it’s not quite so. With these wonderful hormonal imbalances, my body seems to play a joke on the fact that I run often and show me what my body would look like if I took 3-6 months off and ate chips and fries as my main diet. Thick. Soft (and not in a good way). And no amount of “sucking it in” helps. Excellent.

Plus, my skin likes to take a nose dive and I’m getting acne like a teenaged girl going through puberty. Lovely.

Oh, and I’m also a victim of the ‘chest pain’ symptom, which is ironic because I really thought that you can’t really hurt where you don’t have much, right? Wrong. It still hurts.  Sweet.

I start getting ready for my run and head out the door. As I’m driving to my destination, all I can feel is my belly and love handles that hangeth over my shorts. Thank goodness I wore my “big girl” shorts today. Because I’m within a few days of the “dreaded event”, I often stress over whether it’s going to happen early so a nice, serene run through the trails turns into a ridiculous train of thought of whether I brought “precautions”, “oh, but they’re in the car”, and “did I wear dark shorts in case of an accident”, “how far am i actually from the car”, and the occasional “will i need to duck into the bushes”. Sounds fun, doesn’t it?

And I haven’t even touched on the emotional side of things.. so let’s not and save us all some grief.

By the way, this is all BEFORE the actual event happens, which can last anywhere from 3-5 days.

So, on days when you think you’re having a bad run… imagine if you were having a bad run PLUS going through everything that I already mentioned. It’s really not that bad, is it?

PS – I do have to give huge props to the men that ‘survive’ this monthly ordeal and help us get through this temporary insanity.  Oh, and to the puppies too.  You must really love us.  🙂

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2 thoughts on “A Comical Post about ‘Girl Stuff’

  1. This was hilariously accurate. Esp the boob commentary. Laughed out loud. I always think I’m going crazy and then a few days later…aha of course…that’s why.

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