Giddy up and rock on!

one dark night.  one unlit path.  one wrong step.  It all happened in a split second that I can barely remember what happened exactly.  All I can recall are pieces of that night – the sensations.  the sensations that now haunt my mind.

down on the ground,
clutching my knee for dear life,
short, sharp breaths
a pain so deep that it blinds me and renders me speechless
a fear so prevalent that it pierces my soul

That’s all it took.  one dark night.  one unlit path.  one wrong step.

Running has caused me the highest of highs and lowest of lows.  It makes me question whether to continue but as soon as I question why, it becomes clear as day.  I’ve been classified by some as a “repeat offender” – someone who pushes themselves to the breaking point and more often than not, something breaks. How much it sets me back and for how long comes in varying degrees.  But as my mind is polluted by dark, toxic, negative doubts leading to a complete abandonment of the sport altogether, it takes but a blink of an eye to chase those thoughts away.  Memories of a familiar calmness and utter happiness envelop me – just me and the road in complete solitude.  One foot in front of the other, breathing in tune, mind free and clear.  Running is my sanctuary.

I’ve always said that nothing in this life comes easy and you never know what you’re made of until you rise above the challenges.  So, all obstacles become opportunities.  It’s all about investing in yourself.  Investing in myself because I’m worth it.

So I will be patient.  I will wait for that day to come very soon when I will toss those crutches aside and walk tall on my own two feet.  Then I will wait again, optimistically, for my body to bear my weight once again and allow me to run.  And finally, I will wait for the moment my foot crosses that finish line when I will stand tall and stand proud.  Foot to pavement, pavement to foot.  One step at a time.  My sanctuary.

The power of positive thinking … giddy up and rock on!


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