lost soul……


I’m less than 2 weeks away from my first marathon and my nerves are getting the best of me. I’ve been racing for 6 years now and i’m pretty confident on my ability to pace on distances up to a half marathon but the marathon is such an unknown.

I feel completely lost .. I don’t know what to run my first mile in .. or the subsequent miles. I don’t know my ability right now. Well, I KNOW my ability for other distances but not this one.

I emailed my coach the other day … with a call out for guidance – ok, it was more of a pathetic plea for help. He’s acknowledged me but has yet to answer me.

What if i bonk? What if i go out too slow? What if i go out too fast? I don’t want to run in my Z1 pace … I guess it’s my ego that I’m struggling with. I don’t want to think that my Z1 pace, tested through the Peak Performance Centre, is MY pace. I want to think that I’m better than that … I hope that I’m better than that.

I guess I’ll have to wait … patiently …. *sigh*

—————————————————

“I enjoy sharing quiet moments together.” Really means: It’s taper time. Just back off because I am strategizing and in a pissy mood because I am worried about my “A” race and can’t workout.

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